Wishing I was better....

Sigh....there are so many things I wish I did better! Wishing I was a better mom is right up there at the top of my list! Wish I spent more time with my kids. Wish I was more fun! Wish I could teach them better. Wish I was a better example. Wish I was more patient and slower to get upset. And most of all wish I was better at showing them I love them. And I do love them....more than I will ever, ever, ever be able to say!

This week was one of those HUGE "wish I was better" weeks. One child was late coming home. Two children late to get somewhere and I had no car. I was getting more and more frantic by the minute. When I finally got a hold of the late child I let her have it and even hung up on her after getting upset. Not cool. Not cool at all. I should have been patient; I should have listened (because I found out that I really hadn't given the instructions I thought I had so it was my fault not hers!); I shouldn't have shouted; I should have been more kind. Calling back and apologizing just didn't seem adequate, even though I did it. I guess all I can do is try and be better. I want to be better so badly! My poor kids stuck with such a mom. Maybe I better work hard at teaching them to be forgiving so that they can forgive all of my weaknesses!

Christmas 2010

So sad! I went to write this blog post about Christmas this year and realized that I do not have a single Christmas photo! (Lit has some but I can't get to them yet). How sad for a scrapbooker to not have pictures of an event like Christmas!

It was not our normal holiday season this year. This is the first time in several years that we did not go to the Festival of Trees. We love the Festival of Trees! I realized that it kind of gets us in the mood for the holidays. This year things were a little hectic in December, but I knew the kids had a whole week of holiday before Christmas so I planned a lot of activities that week. But as luck would have it, I got really sick with Bronchitis and a respiratory infection. I lost my voice completely for 3 days and then it took at least another week to get better. Yuck! So we never go to do any of the fun things we had hoped to do. But what was worse is that we found out that Marie Jenkins passed away 6 days before Christmas. We were heart broken and Lit has taken it so hard. Few people in this world have known Lit longer than Marie and Grandma. Her funeral was the day before Christmas Eve. It was a beautiful tribute to Marie's faith and compassion. It was difficult and dampening on our spirits. But even though our Christmas was simple, not filled with the normal fun activities we do as a family, marred by a difficult tragedy, and I was sick, at least we had each other. How could I complain about our holiday when Marie's family lost their wife and mother? How could I complain about being sick when there are others out there much sicker than I was? How could I feel sad when there are so many people out there with much less than us? So, I promised myself I will not complain about our holiday and will focus on the positive moments. :) We laughed together as we watched the Muppet Christmas carol; Braden, Janica, and I laughed as we played games together; the kids were caring as they picked out gifts for each other; Marissa got to spend time with friends like Margaret who came to visit from Virginia; many friends and neighbors were so kind and thoughtful like Myrna and Kathy who so kindly brought us dinner when I was sick; Lit recovered quickly from his kidney stones; and my list can go on and on. So many blessings! So I won't complain about not having the perfect Christmas. I had my family and that's all I need!