Wishing I was better....

Sigh....there are so many things I wish I did better! Wishing I was a better mom is right up there at the top of my list! Wish I spent more time with my kids. Wish I was more fun! Wish I could teach them better. Wish I was a better example. Wish I was more patient and slower to get upset. And most of all wish I was better at showing them I love them. And I do love them....more than I will ever, ever, ever be able to say!

This week was one of those HUGE "wish I was better" weeks. One child was late coming home. Two children late to get somewhere and I had no car. I was getting more and more frantic by the minute. When I finally got a hold of the late child I let her have it and even hung up on her after getting upset. Not cool. Not cool at all. I should have been patient; I should have listened (because I found out that I really hadn't given the instructions I thought I had so it was my fault not hers!); I shouldn't have shouted; I should have been more kind. Calling back and apologizing just didn't seem adequate, even though I did it. I guess all I can do is try and be better. I want to be better so badly! My poor kids stuck with such a mom. Maybe I better work hard at teaching them to be forgiving so that they can forgive all of my weaknesses!

Christmas 2010

So sad! I went to write this blog post about Christmas this year and realized that I do not have a single Christmas photo! (Lit has some but I can't get to them yet). How sad for a scrapbooker to not have pictures of an event like Christmas!

It was not our normal holiday season this year. This is the first time in several years that we did not go to the Festival of Trees. We love the Festival of Trees! I realized that it kind of gets us in the mood for the holidays. This year things were a little hectic in December, but I knew the kids had a whole week of holiday before Christmas so I planned a lot of activities that week. But as luck would have it, I got really sick with Bronchitis and a respiratory infection. I lost my voice completely for 3 days and then it took at least another week to get better. Yuck! So we never go to do any of the fun things we had hoped to do. But what was worse is that we found out that Marie Jenkins passed away 6 days before Christmas. We were heart broken and Lit has taken it so hard. Few people in this world have known Lit longer than Marie and Grandma. Her funeral was the day before Christmas Eve. It was a beautiful tribute to Marie's faith and compassion. It was difficult and dampening on our spirits. But even though our Christmas was simple, not filled with the normal fun activities we do as a family, marred by a difficult tragedy, and I was sick, at least we had each other. How could I complain about our holiday when Marie's family lost their wife and mother? How could I complain about being sick when there are others out there much sicker than I was? How could I feel sad when there are so many people out there with much less than us? So, I promised myself I will not complain about our holiday and will focus on the positive moments. :) We laughed together as we watched the Muppet Christmas carol; Braden, Janica, and I laughed as we played games together; the kids were caring as they picked out gifts for each other; Marissa got to spend time with friends like Margaret who came to visit from Virginia; many friends and neighbors were so kind and thoughtful like Myrna and Kathy who so kindly brought us dinner when I was sick; Lit recovered quickly from his kidney stones; and my list can go on and on. So many blessings! So I won't complain about not having the perfect Christmas. I had my family and that's all I need!

Happy Birthday Janica!

What a busy birthday Janica had today. Up at 6:30 am to get ready for her Winter Showcase and then rehearsals and dance until 4:30pm! Time for a quick change and then off to dinner at Olive Garden. Yummy! Then off to the mall to get her ears pierced! She was so excited when she opened earrings for her birthday this morning and we told her that she could get her ears pierced. :) Cheesecake for her birthday cake, and a fun day ended with reading her birthday wishes on Facebook. I'm so glad she had a great day! :)

I can't believe that Janica is 14!! It seems like she was just born! And wasn't it yesterday that she turned 12 and became a little beehive. Now here, she is...old enough to go to stake dances. I think the thing that strikes me most is that I know the next

couple of years will bring a lot of changes. Marissa grew up so quickly and changed so much between 14 and 16! I'm sure it will be the same with Janica. Sigh. Oh how they change. Will they still need me? Will they still want to be around me? Will I be important to them? I hope that no matter how old the kids get that we will always be able to talk and enjoy being together.

All About Christmas

Tonight, Marissa chastised me for not writing on my blog more often. Thanks for making me feel badly Marissa! LOL! Anyway, I was decided blogging is really like writing in a journal so I really should do it more often. This one is for you Marissa! :)

Christmas season is in full swing. Shopping, wrapping, making treats...I really do love this season (mostly anyway!). What is Christmas like for our family? Here are my answers to a little Holiday quiz.

1. Name 5 things you want for Christmas this year!

Nothing really that can be wrapped in a box! I would be happy if we skipped presents and went on a trip together instead!

2. What does your stocking look like?

We all have coordinating stockings that I made one year with old fashioned-looking appliques on them. Mine has Santa on it!

3. What is your favorite Christmas song?

I love so many and it's too hard to pick! I guess I would have to say Silent Night.

4. What does your family do on Christmas Eve?

We LOVE Christmas Eve! We act out the Nativity, open a present, and have a yummy buffet of treats and goodies while we watch Muppet Christmas Carol. It's so much fun!

5. What does your family do on Christmas morning, afternoon, and night?

The kids wake up early and look at their stockings. We usually have to negotiate the night before what time they are allowed to wake Lit and I up! LOL! Then I am a mean mom and make us have breakfast (oven caramel French toast, hot chocolate, fruit) before we open presents. It draws out the fun. :) Then we spend the rest of the day playing with gifts, watching movies, eating our turkey dinner etc. We don't have family nearby to visit so we just stay home. I love it!

6. What is your favorite Christmas smell? (like the tree, the food, cookies, snow)

I would have to say cinnamon and spices. I love the smell of pine, but we have a fake tree so I don't get to smell pine much anymore!

7. Do you think you're going to have a white Christmas?

Hard to know, but likely!

8. How much does your family spend on you at Christmas time?

I don't know and don't really care much about that. My favorite part of Christmas is just watching the family open a present I picked out for them and seeing the reaction on their face. I love it!

9. Do you meet up with extended family at Christmas time?

We often get together with my sisters who live in Utah on Boxing Day instead of Christmas day. We play games, or go sledding or something with all of the cousins together.

10. Do you go to Church on Christmas?

When Christmas lands on a Sunday! The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints doesn't do the whole "mass" on Christmas day thing so we just have our sacrament meetings on Sundays.

Okay Marissa (and anyone else who reads this)...now that I've blogged, when you read this you need to post some of your Christmas favorites!

LOVE General Conference!

I LOVE General Conference. There is something wonderfully rejuvenating about gathering together as a family and feeling the spirit together. When do we get to eat all 3 meals in a day together as a family and sit together in the same room for hours and hours without being distracted by phone, friends, and other activities that pull us away? And we get to talk about the gospel together, too! I love it! I love the togetherness of conference.

Another thing I love about conference is how it is always filled with talks and messages that sink deep into my heart and feel like they are meant just for me. I truly feel like the Lord is speaking to me and it feels amazing to know that the Lord knows me and my personal needs. Ahhh....I love conference and being together as a family!

From driver's license to first date...all in one day!

I sat at the window just now and watched my "not so little anymore" girl drive away in the car all by herself for the first time. I can't even describe the range of emotions I felt. Sadness that she doesn't need me as much anymore. Excitement for her because I know how happy and excited she is to have this major milestone. Fear that she would be in danger as she drives by herself with crazy drivers around her. Relief that now I don't have to carry the whole burden of getting her places. Heartbreak because it makes it all so much more real that she is growing up quickly and it won't be long before she is off on her own and away from home. I hate thinking about her leaving home. I will miss her so much. I want time to freeze and stand still. When she was little I heard so many people tell me how the time when they are little goes quickly. I never felt that way then because the diapers, runny noses, and temper tantrums seemed never ending. But I very painfully realize how right they were. I hope I savored enough moments along the way. And I hope that this wonderful phase will just be replaced with a different phase....just as wonderful, even though it is different.

Today also brought with it Marissa's first "official" date. Here she is with Tyson Monney. They went rock climbing and out to dinner with Jon and McKenna and had a blast. Funny story, because Tyson's dad (the Young Men's president) has been teasing Marissa for months and months that the priests would take her out for her first date. So he totally hooked Marissa and McKenna up for this double date. It was very sweet. Sigh. I know it's the first of many dates to come. I just hope and pray that she will go out with boys who treat her right. I pray that whomever she marries is making good choices with his life now, going on a mission, and growing up to treat her well. It's so scary to let her go!

From driver's license to first date in one day...it's almost too much for a mom to handle!

Guess this date!

Okay...guess the date this picture was taken!! Was it January 24th, February 24th or May 24th? Nope! You were wrong! It was taken TODAY!!! May 24th! Nothing was more shocking than waking up this morning to snow! I can't believe that school is out in just a few days and it is still snowing. Whomever is worried about global warming should take a quick trip to Utah!!!